Steps
by chichai
Summary: Kai rubbed his eyes stretching away the drowsiness that had gathered from his seven hour sleep. The night before definitely didn’t feel real to him...But secretly he was happy he did


This is a pairing story with Kai and Kari I still don't think I'm too great at these so please give input if you can! Thanx xx

_Italics_ - thoughts

… … … - new scene

**Steps**

The night collapsed with the rising of the sun and the beginning of something new. Kai rubbed his eyes stretching away the drowsiness that had gathered from his seven hour sleep. The night before definitely didn't feel real to him; he'd actually told Kari he cared, what possessed him to do that?? But secretly he was happy he did….only bad thing was he left her before she could answer. Last night fell past Kai's memory assisting the acid in his stomach to pile up and wreck his nerves while he lay awake in bed. The breeze tried to ease him as he felt his saliva slowly drying up in his mouth leaving him with a bland fear that he'd choke.

_What in the hell was I doing_Kai tilted his head up stretching his throat in the hope that the rising sickness would probably fall back down instead of finding it's way to his mouth. _And walking away afterwards, now that was just a plain fuck up!!_ He clenched his jaw feeling like he could scream at himself. Every time he closed his eyes he could see little parts of her; her eyes, her hair and that small smile he'd only had the pleasure of seeing once in the years he'd known her.

"Kaaaaaaaiiiiii!!" Kai groaned as the sound of Takao's voice splintered his slowly growing bubble of daydreams. Why couldn't Takao sleep in on Saturday mornings? He did when it was a school day, why did Saturdays have to be any different? Kai stayed silent in the hope Takao would think he was out but a few seconds later he burst through the door yodelling a wake up call. Kai glared at him; he still hadn't quite figured how in the hell Takao managed to constantly get a new pair of spare keys every time Kai broken his fingers getting the pair he had from him.

"How did you get in?"

"Keys." Takao shrugged like it was natural to have a spare set of keys to your best friend's house and erupt through their bedroom door whenever you felt like it.

"I meant your fingers." Kai smirked as he looked at the white of the bandage that was visible.

"Your losing your touch," Takao grinned, "The doctor said they're just bruised this time."

"I'll have to fix that." Kai mumbled kicking the quilt off his bed and shooting up to intimidate Takao who took a tiny step back.

"Must we start the day in violence???" Kai gave a smirk that told Takao he had no problem with being violent first thing in the morning. "I thought you were a lover now, not a fighter." Takao's voice held an accidental tint of retribution in it which made Kai stop. For some reason it really hit him now; how he left Kari, that could be it…the little bit of sun light that had stroked his cold skin could be gone before it got the chance to make him feel what warmth truly was. Kai's heart suddenly jumped into overdrive as a sweat of dread pinned down his mind's usual proud and slightly selfish reasoning.

"I'm going out." Kai quietly walked over to his cupboard and wrenched it open to get a shirt. He shoved it on angrily as his thoughts turned into thorns that ripped at his insides at the possibility of losing a hidden treasure that had been standing in front of him the whole time. Takao watched as Kai stormed past him grabbing his jacket.

"Kai-" Takao couldn't finish his sentence in time for Kai to hear it. Takao sighed shaking his head, "Stupid idiot, he hasn't even buttoned up his shirt."

… … …

Ray couldn't believe what he was hearing. Kai had told Kari that he liked her. But didn't he hate her? Or did he just make out he did to hide what was true? Kari watched Ray absorb the news with a bit of frustration. She hadn't thought it was that big a deal. She'd learnt to deal with wind ups from other people, Kai was no different, and she could handle Kai's mean streak…she just never thought he would actually stoop so low. Ray shook his head as he saw Kari's eyes become tinted with the barely visible despondency they usually held when she had been messed around with for no real reason.

"He wouldn't." Ray said firmly slumping back in his seat. "Have you ever thought he actually means it? Cause that's the only thing that makes sense." Kari raised her eyebrow. To her that was the thing that made the least amount of sense. This was Kai Hiwatari; he was barely the type of guy that went weak at the knees for a girl he'd hated for the better part of his teenage years. Kari never even thought he was the type to have a girlfriend because it just wasn't his style to have a girl by his side when he would be stronger by himself.

_Kai couldn't be telling the truth…but as much as I hate to admit it he's not a liar… but he is!!! He's…he's a pain in the ass!!!_ Kari thought losing her temper standing up from her seat.

"Don't think of doing anything when your in one of your moods." Ray advised at the sight of her tantrum. Kari seemed to listen and crossed her arms tightly glaring down at the floor as her chest burned with hatred at everything. This couldn't be happening. Kari could feel herself losing control of her emotions, they were gently slipping out of her pores and exposing themselves to everyone else's sight, and Ray was the first one to see. "Kari, seriously, he wouldn't-" Ray stopped as Kari looked out of the window in a haze of confusion and anger. If this had never happened everything would have been ok. Her heart wouldn't be racing and her head wouldn't hurt at the thought of Kai. No one had ever had this kind of influence over her. The minute the words slipped from Kai's lips Kari couldn't stop thinking of him, telling herself that there was no way he could be serious. But it hurt to tell herself that because she found herself not just thinking of him but actually caring about him and why he walked off instead of staying.

"..Ray…" A tear fell down Kari's face. Ray's nerves stiffened not knowing what to do at the sight of her fragile tear. Kari pulled her sleeve over her hand and wiped away the tear she hated so much. "I don't like this." She confessed looking over at Ray who watched her sympathetically and instinctively got up to hug her. She hunched her shoulders slightly and moved away not wanting comfort out of fear of the weakness it might bring. Kari told herself she was being stupid about the whole thing. It would be easily forgotten. It would have to be. Kai wasn't coming back for her.

… … …

Kai hit his head against the wall as a few spits of rain made their way down from the sky. He felt like a stalker standing outside Kari's. But it was all he could do - he didn't have the strength to go any closer, but he didn't know what he had to fear. If she said no he'd just be left as he always was, big deal…na he couldn't lie anymore, it was more than a big deal. Somehow his heart had opened and the real torture and pain had begun along with the constant doubt of acceptance from the only one he ever wanted approval from. If he was honest with himself it was always Kari that made him do better at everything, sure it was to get back at her, but now his childishness had a reason, like everything did. Kai tried to shake his thoughts from his head.

_Where did all this shit come from__?…_ He thought as his soul ripped through his heart trying to find the stigma from where this hell had started, but if it was found another problem was he didn't want it destroyed. It might not be that bad… Kai's crimson eyes clasped onto Kari as she left the front door. His heart stung in pain as he stepped forward, he was really going to do this.

"Kari…" His voice came out as a defeated whisper. He gave a small cough and asserted himself into what Takao liked to call "Kai mode". "Kari." He got her attention as she turned around to look at who called her name.

_Kai…._ Her face went slightly pale. He'd came back. Now it was going to get really difficult. Kari looked at Kai's shirt that lay open messily showing off his toned torso. _Why isn't his shirt buttoned?_ Her thought startled and embarrassed her. Why was she even taking an interest in it? He looked like a fool, a hot slightly stylish fool, but a fool nonetheless. Kai cleared his throat realising she was looking at him for a reason that really wasn't helping the intensity of the situation and pulled his shirt closed. She raised her eyebrow whether it was out of impatience or disappointment at Kai covering a pretty good sight she couldn't really figure out. Kai felt his stomach lurch as if a boa constrictor had begun to wind itself around his body. Part of him pulled away, trying to escape the situation but now he was here his pride wouldn't give in to his fear.

"Kari - about last time.." Kari looked at Kai to find his eyes held a lost watery glimmer, just like his words. Kari looked down finding it unbearable to see Kai with the tiny hint of vulnerability inside him.

_Say something…help him_ Kari urged herself looking up again for a second. What happened next scared the hell out of her…she noticed the small lump in his throat and how his hair had casual flicks every so often with one that fell adorably over his left eye creating a small shade for the glitter to really pronounce itself. She was feeling something…maybe even falling for him…

"It was a wind up." She accidentally let a tiny quiver come out. Kai felt relieved, maybe she didn't want it to be a wind up but the way she just let the words come out she could want it to be a wind up. Kai's mind struggled to figure out if he should just leave it all before he made a complete prat of himself or to keep to what he believed in; never letting anything or anyone take control of who he was. Kai took a deep breath finally gaining his ground again as he locked his gaze with hers.

"No, it wasn't."

_….__Shit_ Kari really hadn't expected that. Kai cared…how in the hell could he just turn this up on her?? But she felt angry at herself as well, she liked it and the walls she had built were gradually weakening as they were brought down piece by piece. And not by Kai; it was her that scraped them away until her fingers bled with something new; trust. Kari shook her head and took a step back. _…This is getting too much…_ She rubbed her arm and remembered his eyes, they sealed what Kari always knew. He didn't lie, through all of their clashes Kai always displayed the same things; bravado, arrogance, stubbornness but within the bad qualities there was always honesty.

"So," Kari crossed her arms, "what now? We become something outta nothing?" Kai felt a bit shaken. It felt weird to hear her say they had been nothing, not that Kai thought they were anything before he started feeling this way…but she'd always been something to him, even if it wasn't a friend.

"You were always.." His heart got ready to take up the long awaited position of control it had always yearned for but Kai's mind smacked it out of the way and continued in a cold negotiation. "It's up to you. I don't really care that much, just thought I'd let you know I'm not afraid." Kari looked up at him as his eyes widened. He'd screwed up his pretence and it brought a smile to Kari's face.

_He wants to prove something to me. _Kari swayed forward a bit trying to hide her smile and make it smaller but it won the flimsy scuffle against her tenacious trait. Kai gave a soft laugh at her reaction; it was so weird seeing her letting her defences down like this. Kari was smiling and it was beautiful and satisfying to him to now know why it was so rare.

"So we're - ?" Kai didn't exactly know what to do know. He felt uncomfortable in these new surroundings. He actually liked the girl that liked him and more importantly he wanted to stay and admit it.

"Kinda." Kari pulled her sleeves down over her hands and scratched into the material to try contain the mass of unknown emotions that had suddenly welled up inside of her. Kai cracked his knuckles exhaling with an ecstasy composed of content. For the first time he didn't know what to do or say and he found it ok just like she found the unknown warmth inviting compared to the chill that usually settled inside of her. In the minutes of silence that followed peace was brought to their veins, normality to their bones and innocence to their characters as they couldn't look at each other never mind strike up a conversation to break the final hurdles they had left to face.

"Shit!!" Kai snapped out of his new found tranquillity as he remember the unwanted guest who was probably making himself right at home while Kai wasn't there.

"Takao?" Kari guessed…well it wasn't a guess so much as a well known fact amongst practically all of Japan. Kai's days were usually filled with getting rid of Takao only to somehow miss him so he could come back to annoy him the very next day - unfortunate for Kai but lucky for Takao. Kai smiled.

_She noticed? __Interesting._ But it soon slipped past his mind at the looming menace of Takao breaking something that was worth more than Kai held his friend to be worth.

"Yeah. I'd better head.." He clenched his teeth for a second. He really could throttle Takao for his immaculately bad timing in absolutely everything. "Later.." He grudgingly ended the conversation and turned on his heel walking a few steps away.

"Yeah." Kari walked off feeling quietly pleased with the way things went but it was soon threatened by a tiny niggling fear that this was too good or the emotions she thought she had weren't really there - but it would fade and if it didn't Kari promised she'd get rid of it. She wasn't planning to let him go anytime soon. As Kari turned the corner Kai stopped and watched the last fragment of her figure grow faint.

_She's my girlfriend. _He put his hands in his pockets and gave his signature smirk. _Cool._

… … …

"And I remember when it all began!!" Takao announced as Kai looked in the mirror fixing his tie. After ten years Takao was still the biggest pain in the ass Kai'd ever met. Kai blocked Takao out as he began to ramble on about being called uncle Takao by Kai's children but Kai was more concerned with the day ahead. If he screwed any of the vows up he'd honestly hate himself, this was their day and Kari deserved perfection.

_Not that she'll get that with him around!_ Kai silently spat as Takao flung his arm around his neck.

"I think you should call one of your kids Takao! Takao Hiwatari! WOW! That sounds BRILLIANT!! Doesn't it?" Kai ruffled his own hair and pushed Takao's arm off of him and gave a quiet laugh that put Takao in a state of uneasiness. Kai only done that laugh when he was going to do something weird. "I'm thinking you don't like the idea?" Takao grinned trying to win Kai over in case he was about to fall casualty to a one of the groom's pranks.

"I hate it." Kai smiled scaring the hell of Takao. He was smiling! Alarm bells were ringing so loudly in Takao's head his ears would have smoked if they had the ability to. Kai looked out the open hotel window at the golden light that flickered through the glass before settling on the leather couch that pressed against the hotel room's wall. Takao watched as Kai sat just beyond the light's territory looking up at the ceiling as he closed his eyes and sighed to control his nerves and the lump in his throat.

"You nervous?" Takao smiled as he made his way over to Kai and sat on the arm of the couch letting the sun light catch the very edges of his nose and jaw. Kai nodded still facing the ceiling with closed eyes before realising he'd just admitted a weakness. But weirdly Takao wasn't making fun. "It's normal." Kai looked at Takao. Why was he being nice? He should've been jumping about saying how dumb Kai was for letting this worry him, especially when he was gonna have Kari with him.

"I'll always never get you." Kai shook his head gently wondering why Takao had stuck with him after all these years and more importantly why he'd let him stay.

"Thanks." Takao laughed at the response Kai had given him as the door opened and Ray's amber eyes came into sight saturated with joy for his friends on their wedding day. "Ready?"

_She's here??_ Kai's heart began to thud and he felt sickness cling around his nerves. He moved slightly but felt his head spin. _Get it together!_ He thought forcing himself up.

"If she is." Kai tried to keep his voice normal but when he heard it come out it was raspy thanks to his saliva abandoning his throat.

"We'll give you a few minutes." Ray resolved gesturing to Takao to get out of the room. Takao nodded understanding the request and stood up giving Kai a pat on the back to sum up all the friendly words he wanted to say in the manliest of ways. Kai smirked after the door closed and a hollow bang came from the hallway followed by Takao complaining of a sore head and possible concussion.

_Stupid idiot._ He felt himself relax as he insulted Takao like he always had done. But the mirror soon brought back his anxiety. He was grown up. About to start a new chapter of life that had the potential to make him or break him…or even worse, break Kari.

_I'm being stupid._ He fought back the nerves as he stared at himself long and hard in the mirror. He didn't care about what would happen to him but he'd do everything and anything to keep Kari at her best. If she was at her best, so was he. The cold air quietened his fears as it filled his lungs with a cool liquid instead of the heated plastic feeling he had a few seconds ago. Kai straightened himself up paying attention to his cuffs as he sharply fixed the cufflinks on and swept off a few invisible specks of dust. He looked at himself once more and strode over to the door pulling the cold door handle down with a last nervous sigh. Soon he would draw the curtains on the lonely show he had once lived and hold a new truth that would be filled with meaning, trust and Kari.


End file.
